mmmm Trent is Sex

mmmm Trent is Sex

New Address

It's been a long time since I blogged but with this new start I though I'd create a new blog. The link being http://www.flowerpunkgnome.blogspot.com

xXx

Well I was still ill on Friday. Found out it was just a 48 hour thing. My mother was out all day leaving me to myown poorly devices. My bloody migraine's have come back, it really annoys me. Shaun was kinda ill too, but after drinking Martini and lemonades I felt kinda better. I packed my things away and got a taxi about 4:30pm but it didn't arrive till like 5. So I got there and Shaun was playing this game. I was bored cause he was only playing one player. We chilled out the rest of the evening. Anyway, we played two player finally on this game called Timesplitters 2 which he was playing before. I completely loved killing everyone on the death matches, it was awesome. Yea we had a good chilled out weekend. Didn't do anything hardly. I drank my big bottle of Lambrini that I bought on Wednesday with the money my Babcia had given me. The stupid Playstation crashed as we did story co-op at the end of the Aztec level. It did it three times so we gave up. I'm really annoyed now, we were going to kick everyone's arse on the co-op :(

Anyway, I came home this morning still with an annoying migraine (had it since Friday) but at least my stomachache and cold had disappeared but my head was awful. My vision went in and out of focus, blurred and little black spots in front of my eyes. I called the doctors surgery at 8 and my mother got the appointment after me to see Dr. Baach because he's the best doctor out of the three of them. He gave me some old medication that I had previously took for my migraine's. I took one when I got in the car but they didn't work throughout the day. I've just got the get on with it. It's weird to have the migraine's back; it's been a long time with shitty memories. Anyway, I've just finished a glass of milk so I'm going to post this, talk online for a bit then go and do whatever.

Au revoir
xXx

:O Snow

Well I did go to Shaun's. When I texted him asking him what time he was coming up the doorbell rang 3 minutes later. He had come just had Christina had left. We just sat around for about an hour and a half and when Christina came home I went and packed my bag. We talked to her for a bit then got into our taxi. As the taxi was going up his hill it was sliding everywhere, I was thinking oh shit. Anyway we got in to his house; Gemma (his sister) was away until Thursday so we had to place to ourselves yay. So we chilled out, and had a really nice evening although I was still not well. He ordered take away pizza, I had a plain cheese with onion and Shaun had one with loads on, which was nice. I didn't eat all mine though because my stomach started killing so he told me to go lie on the bed upstairs. So we watched Shameless then he huggled me all night.

We woke up, dozed for an hour then got up and ready. Because the taxi driver wouldn't have a chance in hell of getting up the hill. But, me being me had a long skirt and 4inch heels on. Shaun rang his boss up and asked if he had the day off like the day before cause of the snow but he didn't. So Shaun held me hand and took me down this enormous hill so slowly even a granny would get down quicker. I couldn't stand on the path cause it was slippy, the side with the rail had cobbles on and so I had to walk with my boots on the grass side. I only slipped a few times but not enough to go flat on my ass. Then we waited in the bus stop for Neil and the he came with his white van and I jumped in. I had never been in a van with a driver seat and a double seat for 2 people; it was all so different to me. Neil dropped me off at the bus station then I waited 30minutes for my mother to pick me up. We were meant to be going to an art gallery today. We got home, I checked my e-mails, straightened Christina's hair and we set off. Getting off our road was hell; I thought we were going to crash. We got to Babcia's, stayed with her for an hour and a half, I got £10 out of it. Then we went to the art gallery but it didn't open till 2 and it was only noon. So we decided to go to Rawtenstall. We both got a Chip Butty and then went into the estate agents to look for houses. We went and visited some of the locations. There were 2 in Hall Carr but we decided no way would we live on a council estate like that. Not with deserted broken into houses all around us. There was one near Kate's but we decided against it, too far away also and stupid communal lot. There was one that we didn’t know where it was until we looked at the map. It was in asian central. We definitely decided against that because we didn’t want to end up like my grandmother with the asians making us feel so bad. I was never racist until I came here. The asians here are ignorant, speaking in their own language in front of us, they are most racist to us calling us names yet we can’t say anything back. In all honesty, they want to take over Lancashire, hell, they want to take over the whole country and make it Muslim or whatever their religion is. So the house on Prospect Road looks the best for now.

We got home; Christina was being a bitch so I went and played on the Sims 2 until 4:30pm when she decided she had to use the desk. No she couldn’t use the dining table, she needed, the desk. So I watched Grange Hill and then I lay in bed till she had finished but I fell asleep and woke up at 4 in the morning. Then I went back to sleep until 7:30, looked outside, very very deep snow!! Only living in Rawtenstall for 3 years I didn’t experience much snow. When I lived by the sea it’s really one and I saw snow once, and it was a thin layer. In Preston I got it once, but it was a thin layer too. But in Rawtenstall, it snows every year loads of times. This snow goes over the top of your Wellington boots. It’s so cool. I’m so sad; everyone else is used to this except me. My mother has gone for her interview at the Natwest bank today because she quit her Business Development Manager, got a job at First Business Direct but I’d much prefer her to get the Natwest job. Shaun is snowed in too. Hope it clears so I can see him tomorrow. Awww I love that guy. I’m not at all bored yet which is the best sign you can get from me.

xXx

Go Faster

Well just after I wrote my previous blog entry all the electricity in my house went. This meant I failed to have a shower. I could of had one; but it would have been a tad cold one and I didn't fancy that. So I walked around the cold, silent house stinking. Well not really but hey. Just with slightly greasy hair. I collected my laundry from downstairs and packed my bag. Colin turned up and while he waited for me to finish packing he took all the fruit out of the fruit bowl and placed it on the kitchen work surface. He also decided to start eating my mothers Lindt chocolate. Hmm.....then she blamed me. Anyway I was finally ready and we set off to Formby. We got to the house, I went to my very nice, spacious, DOUBLE bedroom. Aren't I the lucky one. I used to have a double bedroom in Formby but not as big as these doube rooms. It is so much more refreshing than my small, single, box bedroom at home. After I unpacked we went to Morrisson's and got the general food to eat and one of Lydia's joke presents which was a Heathcliffe DVD. On the way back we called in at Colin's best friend Terry's house. We drank Singha beer and talked round the table. The house was in a bit of a state cause Terry is doing it up to sell it again. It has a whole load of potential. I saw Red too, the guy from Christmas, said hi to him. He was in bed. After lots of talking and questions about Shaun (too many questions) we left and went back home. Colin cooked a sort of pork, sweet and sour stirfry with noodles which was surprisingly scrumptious. We both watched TV and this hilarious show called Cheaters on Reality TV. Went to bed at like 10:30pm. I put Sky on in my room and watched Kerrang! till about two in the morning. They didn't even repeat a song which I was quite surprised at. Ben rang twice, once about 11ish and again and half 12. I then nodded off to sleep.

I woke up Tuesday at about quarter past eleven and had a shower then trundled downstairs and made sweet and sour super noodles to go, being careful to take out the peas of course. It wasn't as nice as the normal ones, unfortunately they don't seem to stock them anymore in any supermarkets. The sweet and sour super noodles I mean. My mother did find some in Tesco's in Burnley. After this I proceeded to sit on my fat bum all day and watch music channels, that is what my life has come too =) At half 4 Colin and I went to Macro but they wouldn't refund my camcorder and let me buy a better model which looked a lot more appealing. So, we have to ring Samsung up and have a bitch apparently. I then got some stationary for college and some new straightners yay! They actually work as well. So, we got back and had chicken stuffed with buffalo mozerella and wrapped with bacon. I don't like chicken or the bacon he used so I just opened it up and ate the mozerella. Buffalo mozerella is gorgeous, some people have never heard of it, let alone tasted it's beauty. I checked my e-mails and then persuaded Colin to buy Mean Girls the movie on Sky box office. Although he laughed a lot at the film and enjoyed it, he had to be macho and stated he hated it. Yeah right! He doesn't fool me.

On Wednesday I stayed at home when Colin went downtown, there he saw Kevin who was like my best friend in Formby. I love the guy (not litrually). Kevin told Colin he'll call round tonight and Colin said "righty ho" as he always does. Then later on about 5 we went downtown so I could get wrapping paper for Lydia. Another joke present was this 80s band called ABC that we love making fun of, not the actual band, just 2 of their albumns. I wrapped everything up including her Chardonnay that I bought her. Good make too. Kevin rang and he told us when he was coming up. Colin then left to go for a meal with Terry and Susannah. I waited for a bit and Kevin and Steven came, we ordered take away pizza, well, Kevin and I did, Steven had already eaten his dinner. We sat around and talked about music then put on Team America, World Police. It was all made with puppets and really funny. Then at about 11 Colin came home, watched it for a bit too then Kevin and Steven left at half 11. I love those guys. They are great. I went to bed then and went to sleep straight away.

Thursday I got up at 8, got ready and we left the house at 8:45. I got home at about 10. I didn't do much all day but in the evening I went to Shaun's. Had a nice time. The day wasn't wonderfully interesting.

Friday, now this is better. I got home at 8, my mother then took me to Asda as soon as I got home. I decided to cook for Lydia and Anthony so we got the ingredients. I got home then went out to meet Anthony. Anthony and I went to call for Sarah Payton then we went back to my house at about 3, we even saw my mother drive past. After a few Martini and lemonade's later we walked Sarah home at about 5 and went to call for Lydia. Then we all went back to my house, chilled out till about 6 then I went and cooked the meal. We drank Lambrini beforehand and with the meal we drank the Chardonnay that I bought Lyd. Everyone said they liked the meal. Afterwards we finished off the big bottle of Lambrini and had the other bottle. Anthony had some Absinthe. We watched TV then went upstairs and looked up information on Seance's because we were curious. Then we went downstairs and tried it out, we didn't get great feelings from it so we ended it early. We decided we wanted to be scared, so we put on the worst film ever; Mother's step class video from 1998. We all cringed at the sight of the skeleton. Then we just listened to music and went to sleep at about 4 in the morning.

We woke up at half 10 and got up at 11. We just chilled out all day. Anthony's boyfriend Ben who is such a nice guy came around too and we sat around and just had a good time. Shaun got here at about 3 and we were all dressed up, except Shaun and Lyd. Ben had left by this time. Lyd left at about 6ish to go to Mass but she came back later. Then cause I was too stoned to walk because when I move about when I'm stoned I feel well, not brillient. So Shaun and Lydia walked Anthony to the bus stop. When they got back Lydia phoned her mother and her mother came to pick her up. Shaun and I sat there for a while then cleared up and went to bed.

Sunday we woke up at 9 and my mother came in at half 9 so we were inpatiently waiting for her to go to work. We then went downstairs and watched Hollyoaks and we made bacon sandwiches. We just chilled out all day. When it got to the time my mother usually comes home we just went to my room and I played playstation games while Shaun got free ringtones. Later on we went downstairs, talked to mother for a bit then got a taxi to Shaun's house. I was feeling really unwell at this point but I walked down to the Cantonese take away and got 4 spring rolls and 2 chow meins. I ate my 2 spring rolls but couldn't manage my chow mein. I started feeling absolutely awful so I lay down on his bed. After we watched the 100 greatest pop stars we both went to sleep. Cliff Richard was at number one. What is wrong with the population!

Monday I felt really bad, so when we got up and I got my taxi back I told my mother college wasn't open and I sat down hoping I would feel better. It went about 11, then I threw loads of stuff away and I've decided to sell stuff on ebay. Go on ebay and search for flowerpunkgnome and see what I have to sell. Anyway, my mother went out, I carried on selling everything and I made dinner of Chicken Fahita's or however you spell it. Then put more things up for sale. Only 8 in total but with slow internet it took forever. But we're getting broadband soon which is good. I went to bed and watched Michael Moore's Bowling For Coulumbine I think which was good. I then tried to sleep with all the pain.

Today I woke up, felt overwhelming sick still and because my mother knows I've not been well she let me try and sleep. I got up at half 1, watched TV, went downstairs, got a drink and came up to the study and now I'm writing this. Probably going to sleep at Shaun's later. So that was my trip, not overly interesting but anyways.

xXx

The Weekend Ends Here........

Hello, I won't wish you a Happy Valentine's Day because it's just a worldwide money making scheme which I and a few others don't buy into. I told Shaun not to get anything, he was a bit aphrehensive about not doing at first but I said it was ok. It's just a day for the companies, the big cheeses'. A billionaire-dollar/pound money making day.

Well my mother dropped me off at Shaun's on Friday. I cooked my tomato and basil pasta bake, it was really nice if I say so myself, Shaun agreed. He also said I could cook for him again.....I must be doing something right. The weekend was kinda boring because Shaun was a little irritable because he had awful headaches all throughout the weekend so the weekend was just played on GTA3, because it's the easiest one hehe. That relaxes him playing on that. So we didn't do much alltogether but it was nice spending time with him when he was ok. I came back this morning. I would of liked to see Anthony and Lydia though cause I haven't hung out with them properly in ages.

It's Lid Marmy's birthday on Wednesday so Happy Birthday for then Miss Murray. She's reached the ripe old age of 17. Colin is reaching the ancient age of 53 on Sunday!!! Now that's old. No mid-life crisis either huh, well, the worst is to be expected.

Talking of Colin, he rang me up and asked if I wanted to go over, so I'm going over to Formby today until Thursday so then Shaun isn't on his own with my mother on Friday going to Formby. Poor sod. Talking on holiday type things Kate rang me from wherever she's gone telling me she was bored cause no one was online when she went online in a internet cafe or something lol.

Mmm I'm eating Strawberry Vienetta which I didn't know existed till I ended up asking loads of people and my mother bought it. It's really nice. But, it does say "new" on the packet, I was sure I ate it when I was a little nipper. Loads of products put "new" on the label to draw unsuspecting consumers in; but, isn't it false advertising? Pfft..........new after 10 years huh!?

xXx

Lambrini Girls Just Want To Have Fun

Hey. My week has been uninteresting - as per usual. Friday I went to Shaun's and stayed the weekend. We were meant to meet up with Lid Marmy and Ant on Saturday but Shaun's a lazy bastard lol and he wanted to sleep - so I let him. Same with Sunday.

Came back on Monday morning and went to college. I had Documentation Theory and Film Studies which were both very boring. I saw the councellor as well and we had a talk about some weird shit that was going on with me lol, she gave me a website that wasn't too intersting or helpful. Tuesday I felt ill and my mother never takes this as an excuse so I told her they were having staffing problems and we couldn't go in. This is half true, our Radio is usually boring and uninformative and Movie Trailer is piss easy. Tuesday I got the bus to Whitewell Bottom to see what work Shaun does. While I was there he did rendering and bricking, mmm perving on him. Hehe. We then walked to the bottom of the hill, he bought me some White Malteasers yay. Then his mother came into the shop, she told us if we wanted a lift we should go wait at hers. So we made the less than one minute journey while Shaun ate everything in his mother's kitchen lol, how the hell does he eat so much and stay so slim. Lucky lucky git. Anyway, we got a lift back. Gemma (Shaun's sister) insisted on making pancakes so we let her, they were very nice as well.
Shaun and I went upstairs, later than night we got stoned. Wednesday I got a taxi back and didn't do much all day cause it was my day off. I did watch Trisha though, it was about mother's who can't handle their children. Oh yes, and I went up to Lyd's about half 2 and we had a good talk and a messaround: and, of course, a Balamory karaoke time. Was funny - as it always is.

Today I got up about 1 - I overslept. Didn't sleep the night before. I made myself some tea and toast as you do and I can't remember much more. I had a shower and played Sims 2. Oh, I love that game. I was addicted at one point. Actually, I might play it tonight, not doing anything tomorrow earlish. Anyway, Anthony came round at about 5 or something and we ate hotdogs and watched the Simpsons. We then made a trip to the shop nearby and he bought some wine from the nice lady at Campbells. We then trekked up to Lyd's, drank the bottle of wine at her house and discussed tomorrow. We then went back down to Campbells, got some more wine, drank it then went up to Sarah Payton's. She didn't seem very impressed because we were just having our own random conversation. We then walked Lyd to her house where she is now battling her history essay. Then I walked to the bus stop with Anthony, he even had a piss in the bus stop. I was like oh my god lol. Then he got on the bus, I walked up the big horrible hill up to my house, seeing Bennyjamin and Emma Holt on the way. I came in and collapsed on the couch, then my mother said something I didn't want to hear "I might not be going tomorrow". Grrr!

The reason I'm annoyed is cause I was just having Ant, Lyd and Shaun round, and I was cooking Tomato and Basil Pasta Bake with Strawberry Vienetta for after w/ bottles of wine of course. My mother was going away to Colin's for the weekend and she said they could come round. Then she told me today when I came back that Colin has a cold so she might not go. Grr......big deal he has a cold, doesn't mean you can't go. I was looking forward to having the house to myself - she never goes out, she has no friends to go out with and she works from home. Well next week Shaun and I are meant to go to Colin's cause he invited us over with my mother for his birthday which is on the Sunday. Shaun said yes but I'm wondering why Colin wants Shaun round. Everyone seems to like Shaun, it's unnerving, but good. Oh well. I won't try and work it out.

xXx

p.s. Just heard - my mother just said she's not going to Colin's this weekend so I'm stayed at Shaun's for the weekend and my mother has invited him over for Sunday dinner - which is chicken fahita's or however you spell them. Eek. I'm all pissed off now, all Shaun does at the weekend is sleep - I get so bored :(

Armless Midget Sex

OK well my day hasn't been overly interesting but I'll write about it anyway.

I woke up at quarter past 6 and waited for an hour for the alarm to go off. I then had Weatabix and toast because I was extra hungry with a nice cup of tea. Mmmmm.......... Anyway, I got ready, did what I had to do, then I went downstairs to ask my mother to part my hair for me. Now, here's where it gets strange. She started to fake cry with no real tears crying out that her white bowl needed it's other half which Kate had and wouldn't give back unless I gave her a game that I can't find. Anyway, I said to my mother, "it's a bowl dear, it doesn't have a other half". She then started pretending to cry loudly and say "but it's so lonely, my poor white bowl, they were a pair, not meant to be on their own" being so melodramatic amused me for a while. Then she parted my hair and I shouted freak at her :) how interesting.

Anyway, I waited for Ben till 10 to 9 in the morning, turns out he set off at 9-9:10am, people get later everyday. Anyway I walked across town where I passed Steven Leonard, ooo the memories and when I got to college I sat down at a computer. I listened to some music and then Ben came in 20 past 9 or something. I played this game called Mah-Jongg on http://www.candystand.com where I played bowling with Lyd. Oh yeah, I won! Then Ben started to play the game and Jono frantically hit the mouse hoping to get somewhere then complaining the game doesn't work. He didn't quite understand you could only select the tiles on the edges and which are not in the middle of anything. Anyway, just before break Jono decided he wanted to make a porn movie with my video camera which I brought in purely to find a way to connect it to a computer; I was going to ask the technician. Anyway, anyone who knows me can see the mini-porn video, it's funny. Lets just say, it involves two fingers on his left hand and one very happy finger on his right.

Then break went and after break I even actually started doing some work, but only when my teacher made his way round to tell me what to do. So I did a mini-essay on Digital and Non-Digital Media, it was pretty easy, got it gone quick enough. I then played games again until lunch. At lunch I went downtown, had a pasty that wasn't too hot and wasn't too cold, mmm I love those perfectly cooked pastys. And I bought Ben and I a milkybar egg with strawberry shake flavour filling. It wasn't that bad actually. I really fancied popping candy at that point.

When we got back to college I was then instructed to view lots of Band sites. I didn't know why but I did anyway, trying to help Jono find out who is supporting System Of A Down in Manchester in June. I didn't find anything, apparently it's not confirmed till later on. I then checked out a couple more band sites, the band The Bastards site was actually a porn site, so I got off that quick. Anyway, he then came round and I was asking him why I was looking at them. He said I should get ideas down. So I wrote the Similarities the different sites had, what worked well for the site and then my menu contents. I then just played games till 10 past 4 and walked home. I walked past the bus stop where Tom Power drummed on the bus stop shelter screen and then waved at me manically. Hehe, twas funny. I waved back. Standing next to Tom Power was Adam Southgate evil eyeing me and Nick Byrne sitting down, also probably evil eyeing me, I didn't bother to look. Anyway, I got really bad muscle cramp, my mother said it was cause I had been sat down for 3 hours at a time. It was really painful, I was walking like a drunkard.

I got home, collapsed on the sofa and let everything my mother say to me go over my head. I then put pizza in the oven. Mother was shouting at how there were other things from pizza. I told her to name some. She pointed out some microwave macoroni which I told her was foul and I only ate the last one so you'd stop having a go about it being there and you won't buy anymore. She pointed out this microwave sweet and sour thing which was ultra disgusting and someone else actually ate it the last time. She suggested hotdogs, pasta and noodles; there were none of any. HA! I told her so! Anyway we then had an arguement about her cheap, nasty Christmas presents that I got and the nice ones Colin got. She then went to the gym, I watched a weird program called 'Barking' and 'Noah & Saskia'. It was strange............strangely boring. I came upstairs and decided to have a go at this Web Design project thingy. So I sorted out the template, so all the hyperlinks work. One problem, no contents. Anyway, here's the template http://www.geocities.com/mydogsaidhi/Band
I showed Shaun the template and he kept going on about how every site should have Armless Midget Sex and how it should be the law. I was just like ooook then : So now I'm just talking to Lyd in American speak about when she fancied Quentin (she didn't really).

xXx

p.s. Check out Lydia's guestbook entry to her favourite band http://www.cherrypie.org/guestbook

Shoot That Poison Arrow

Hey, my day yesterday wasn't too boring for me anyways so for my own pure wanting to write I will tell you all.

Well yesterday I went to college not being ill, or overly tired. Mother however wouldn't give me lunch money because she gave me £4 which she owed me because I paid the bin cleaner guy Ia while back. I said I'm not paying for my lunch with money you owe me, so she gave me £2. First lesson was Radio Station. We watched the TV Version of "Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge", it's not really my kind of humour though. Then we had to listen to radio one and after 10 minutes everyone was falling asleep. Anyway Darren the teacher as it were switched it off and we had to write a mini-essay about something I can't remember at all. Then he changed part of the lesson to Documention Theory which was meant to take place yesterday but the trip was on. We watched this reality TV show from 1974 called "The Family", it was boring but was just funny towards the end. This 19 year old was going on about getting married cause she had known her partner for 3 years, but at 19, woah, you need to enjoy yourself. Then it was lunch and I went downtown with Jono, Kris, Simon and Ben, it was highly amusing apart from they were all saying poor Shaun was a corpse and dead. Anyway, I took some pictures as I went along; you can find them at www.geocities.com/mydogsaidhi/Lunch Afternoon lesson was Movie Trailer. The guy didn't come round for a bit and I hadn't a clue what I was doing so I just messed around on the internet and listened to music. Then he came round, finally told me what I was doing, then we tried transferring these clips, oh my god, it took like half an hour for each so he just brought the video camera over and I selected the clips I wanted from there. I need to think up a structure, I need to watch the film Leon again because that's what the trailer is about and I can hardly remember the film to think up a structure. Anyway, towards the end I was having a go at this movie trailer sorting out and editing clips and the teacher guy comes over. He asks what I'm listening to and I say Nine Inch Nails, he then perks up and says "Do you like the Libertines!?" and I was sort of like "Err....no". Hehe, no way. Since when has Nine Inch Nails and the Libertines been similar music :

Anyway, I set off from college at quarter past 4, on my way out of college about to light a cigarette I really shouldn't be having. I saw Tom Power and Adam Southgate. Adam eviled me lol, wonder why. Anyway I called Tom over and we talked for a bit and Adam was stood there on his own. Then I said goodbye to Tom and nodded at Adam. I then came across someone I'm sure I recognised. Then I stopped him realising it was Andy Allen and I went to Manchester with him once. He went to the Green Day gig as well, so I asked him how was it for him, he said good and that he had the pictures. I really wanted to see them but he said he couldn't be bothered getting them out. Charming! Anyway, I walked through town where a group of townies followed me. I stopped and talked to my work experience mentor persony thingy who's mother is my Aunty Maggy and Uncle Tony's and Aunty Mildred's (Uncle Tony's mother's) cleaner. We talked for a bit. Then I hurried on before the townies gained on me. I got home fell on the sofa and was bored to death about how mother is going to be wonder woman and quit her job because they are taking the piss. I did tell her, I did. I told her she needs to let go of the job even if she does enjoy it, it doesn't pay the mortgage. I made some toast and had a cup of tea. I then went on the net about 4, talked to Lyd for a bit. Half 7 I went and ate some leeks then walked down to meet Shaun. We went back to his where he ate a Galaxy chocolate spread sandwich, a bowl of pasta and a massive pizza. How can he eat all that and still be so slim! Grr. Anyway, during Shameless he rolled two joints and I happily got stoned yay. I waited for days for that. We were then watching this documentry about sex on Channel 4, because my short term memory had totally gone I didn't understand what the programme was about most of the time and I kept getting confused because I had a non existent short term memory. Finally I gave up, switched it off and Shaun and I went to sleep.

We woke up this morning, called a taxi and I had a nice little discussion with the taxi driver about how I didn't mind Asians until I came to Rossendale and most Asians round here are actually racist to the white people. We can't be racist, they don't exactly have a right. Then I got out the taxi, got in, talked to Mother, ewwwwwww, she really does bore me. I went upstairs, slept for 4 hours then read a Bizarre magazine Shaun had, the back catalogues, I went downstairs watched Grange Hill, OH YEAH GO TOGGER!! Hehe. Now I've just e-mailed Lyd, about to send photos of Ben to Jono which he wanted and I'm writing this. OK, maybe it wasn't so overly interesting to you lol.

xXx

Sleep, Sleep, Sleep......................

Well despite being very tired yesterday I still watched the Green Mile till quarter past 1 then I couldn't sleep till 3am.

I was rudely awoken this morning by a screeching something called a Mother and I could hardly open my eyes. So I rolled to my side and ignored it, then it walked in screaming this time and then left and said "I don't want any letter from any college". I decided not to shout back "yes well I specifically asked for them not to include you in my education". Anyway, when it left whilst ringing Colin, I (with my eyes still shut) pulled the dresser in front of the door then after it was bitching about me to Colin it slammed the door to make a point. It didn't make any point because later Colin told me he told her to shut up. Anyway I rolled over in my bed and decided to sleep. I woke up at like 4 o clock. I watched a bit of some antiques program then at half 4 I watched Togger! Well, I watched Grange Hill. I then waited till tosser went to the gym then I had a nice relaxing shower then went online. Oh what an exciting life I lead. Yay I can get stoned tomorrow, Shaun's getting even more weed :D at last. Well the rest of my evening was speaking to Shaun, watching Coronation Street, eating dinner and writing this blog. God, I need a life.

xXx

Yay, I Got To See Greenday :D

Well Friday I was too tired to go to college and I stayed in bed until about 2 when Christina came in and informed me she was going out. I lay in bed and my phone rang at 3 or something and anyway it was Shaun telling me he finished work. I had a sneaking suspision that she had probably gone to Colins so I searched the house and tried ringing Colin loads. I gave up, actually looked and found overnight things missing so Shaun rang back and I told him he could stay for a couple of night. Then Colin rings me and tells me that Christina didn't bother telling me and wasn't going to bother telling me that she was at his till Sunday. So I thought yay FREE HOUSE! Anyway Shaun came over and we were chilling out and then Shaun gets a phonecall. It's his sister Gemma's boyfriend Dave. He's a DJ at Key 103 and asked Shaun if he wanted two free tickets to Green Day. Did he refuse? Of course he did :'( nt :P God no! Anyway, I spoke to Anthony and Lydia on the phone and then the rest of the night Shaun and I chilled out, and eat the chocolate he brought, until..........half 1. Ben was singing in my back garden and then started throwing stones at my window. I got changed and let him in, then he wanted Shaun to come down, so I went to get him too. So we sat down there and Ben and Shaun smoked a joint and I sat there and we talked. Then Shaun and I watched Pink Floyd's The Wall, one of the weirdest films/yet one of the best. Ben meanwhile was upstairs playing on the guitar. Then Ben made his way downstairs at half 4 and said he was going so we said bye and went upstairs and watched the rest of the film upstairs.

Saturday Lyd woke me up in the morning and she said she was going to set off, I said better wait half an hour and then we slowly got up. Lyd came round, we watched some of the videos then Sarah rang and her and Anthony made there way up so we went for a shower. Got changed and went downstairs and we were all watching the homemade New Year Eve's videos. What fun. One of the first few sentences I said to Shaun: "Do you want to come?", it wasn't meant to sound so bad. We made our way downtown, after waiting with Anthony at the bus stop, we saw Mr Fletcher, talked for a bit then we got some stuff, I was so nicely bought a white chocolate kit kat and a creme egg. We all sat down on this bench in the gardens near town and had a cig, Shaun went to get a bus to go see his sister to gets the tickets and Lyd, Sarah and I made our way up to mine. There we watched Queen. Shaun brought back some chips and a present for me, a Kinder Egg :D yay. He didn't have to go any further than the bus station cause Gemma rang and told him to collect the tickets from a hotel. We ate our food and then we all set off. Lyd and Sarah both gave me a hug and poor Shaun got a hug off Sarah :P hehe. He didn't mind the hug off Lyd. Anyway, we said goodbye and Shaun and I waited at the Manchester stop for ages. We got the bus to Chorleton street, got a taxi and went to collect the tickets from a hotel and then we went to the MEN arena. We went in, found our seats and Shaun went to get some larger :D we stood up and watched Green Day. They were pretty damn good. A lot of audience participation in the whole thing. They even got a guitarist, bassist and drummer up on stage to play while they sang. The lucky son-of-a-bitch guitarist was given Billie Joe's own guitar. Who hates him *raises hand*. All in all the gig was pretty decent, lol a spotlight went on Shaun and I when we were making out :( how rude. Anyway we waited for about an hour for the bus home. We got home, got stoned, cleaned the house and finally got to sleep about 5 in the morning.

We woke up this morning at 1. Mother had already come home, she woke us up slamming doors around and generally being a twat. Shaun made breakfast because I'm hopefully and some roll ups and I went and got changed and we left the house at about 25 past 4. I said farewell to Shaun and then Aunty Maggy and Uncle Tony took me out for a meal. It was a sensational Indian Restaurant, with food that tasted authentic and not at all cheap. It was all surprisingly yummy :D after the meal we went down "Curry Mile" and we got some Indian sweets. I promised Shaun I'd share some with him on Tuesday, as long as we could get stoned. Good deal. So I got home, I'm still knackered and I am now going to go to bed before I fall asleep on the keyboard.

xXx

Part 2

Ok, I admit it, I'm weak. I rang him up and apolgised for hanging up on him but I explained how I DO NOT like being messed around. He said he was sorry and he forgot about the tax forms he had to fill in etc. and I was like whatever. So he asked if I wanted to see him tomorrow and I said, no, I'm busy and he said fine, what about Saturday. I said no again. Then he started getting slightly annoying saying "fine, be like that". He was saying I was going in a big sulk and I thought I had a right after being messed around like that. His idea after all. He asked me if he should wait till I stop being sulky and contact him if I actually want to see him. Ok, I sort of felt a bit guilty after that and agreed to see him tomorrow. Now I feel weak, I feel like I've been guilt tripped into feeling like I'm in the wrong. He was totally in the wrong, he could of at least told me in the morning or something insted I get nothing. I don't think I am in the wrong and it really annoys me.

xXx

Grrrrrrrrrr

I hate being messed around. I was the one who said 'ok I'll see you on Friday' and he was the one who said 'what about Thursday'. So today I got ready and packed and stuff and then he says 'I think I'll give it a mess'. Yes I'm sure you will. Well, I'll give fucking Friday a miss too. I'll wait till you come up to mine and tell you I want to give it a miss. Then you'll see, I don't like being messed about with. Grrr.....that sort of stuff winds me up. Anyway I did the right thing and said I was going and quickly hung up cause I wasn't going to listen to his "nice" conversation after that. I really don't like being messed around, I know it was cruel but I gotta put my foot down. If you don't mean something, don't say it.

Anyway, I slept in till 3 and missed "Web Design", a whole day of it. Man, that would of got me bad :( It's cause I stayed up till 4 talking to Thom and Jono about random things. Stupid me really. I got up had a shower, got ready for Shaun's and then he says that. Grrr.........my day has been so boring. I slept most of it away.

Hmm......now, not knowing guys wonderfully well I don't know what's going to happen now. I'm expecting a bitchy text which I haven't got and I doubt he will send it now. He may be waiting for me to "calm down", he has a long time to wait. He'll probably leave it till tomorrow night cause I won't be contacting him. Lol, I'm so stoopid, I should apologise really but I don't want to cause I don't want to be a walkover and I want to put my foot down on a matter like being messed around. Aww, I just hope he doesn't take it totally the wrong way.

xXx

Oh yeah and apparently he said "he forgot". Thanks I feel so much better, I'm not even worth remembering.

Pernod

Yeah dumbass title but I couldn't think of one and I have a Pernod Pen in front of me so bingo.

I got up Tuesday morning and I felt so sick. Colin rang and I told him and he said it's probably my body adjusting to being half well after being dosed up with drugs.........again. So I was too sick to go to college so I lied and told my mother (cause she was shouting, as per usual) that I had been given my assignment on Monday so I knew exactly what I was doing. Of course that was bullshit, all I did was a "Stars" essay that Darren gave me in Monday afternoon's Film Studies lesson. Anyway, I wrote all that up in rough before it was internet researched and then I decided to sleep till about 2 until my mother had finished work and I could type it up. Of course I slept till 4 and I started up the computer, went down for a cup of tea to wake me up and my mother got up from sleeping and immediately said "you've been on the computer for ages haven't you!!!!???". I was totally stunned I nearly dropped my spoon, "I've only just loaded up the computer, the net isn't even connected". "LIAR!". Woah, she's weird. Anyway as I typed up my work which seemed to take forever my mother got ready for the gym. She left and 10 minutes later there was banging at the door. And it was Shaun YAY, I hadn't seen him for like a week so I gave him a big huggle. I had only typed up and researched about a quarter of the essay but anyway I quickly packed my bag and he called a taxi and I went to his. Awww........I hadn't seen him in ages so it was nice to spend some time with him.

Wednesday yesterday and I had to get up at 6:45 because Shaun was going to work. So we got changed, had our cup of tea and he called a taxi for me. Funnily enough the taxi guy I got was his dad and we talked for a bit. I came home and went straight to sleep tilll 4:15 where I was in time for Grange Hill. TOGGERS BACK!!! YAY!!! Then, Christina decided to be a twat and annoy me, delibrately I may add. Cause now she knows about the fact I can't be stressed, she's got a lot worse. Anyway, I ended up screaming at her because she was constantly being a twat. Anyway it felt like someone had then clenched my heart with a fist so I slowly made my way upstairs and lay down till it didn't hurt as much and I got Colin to phone me back. He had a go at my mother who then shut the fuck up for the rest of the night. I spoke to Shaun too who said he'd ring me later.

I went on the computer, started on my essay again titled "Stars" and it's ultra long and ultra boring. I went down for dinner where Christina was going to be a twat, knowing I wanted this essay out the way so I have more free time in the upcoming days and I knew she was going to suggest I wash up. So I ate my dinner in a record 10 or so minutes and quickly scooted upstairs. Shaun rang me so I rang him back and we talked for a bit. Then Lyd and I talked about great Martin Fry is (obviously we weren't being serious). Colin phoned me up last week knowing that I find cheesy bands hilarious asked if Lyd and I wanted to go to a ABC concert in Southport. Would I pass up the opportunity to see the cheesy 80s band ABC and Tony Hadley in the flesh for a night of entertainment? No I wouldn't. And neither would Lyd. We love our cheesy bands. Anyway we talked about how fetching Martin Fry looked in his gold suit and how much of a drag queen he looked in his younger days. Shaun came online and he was being a twat so I was being a twat back. How dare he not like HIM grrr.......I'm so going to delibrately play it to annoy him in his own room.

Finally I finished the essay about 45 or so ago :D at the moment I'm just talking to Thom who's showing me 'without a doubt, the gayest thing since barney the dinosaur'. A video of some Japanese guys, some kind of boyband apparently. And I'm talking to Jono about music magazines. Yay today I'm sleeping at Shaun's tonight, as I am Friday night and Saturday night :) Aww I missed the buggar. 1 month on Friday, that's a mile stone for me, they rarely last long before I finish them usually. Most I've been with someone, 3 months, just about. Now that's not good. Hopefully this will last a bit longer, through both of us moving.

Anyway, I'm going to bed in a sec so ciao

xXx

Through The Roof

Well today I made an effort and went to college. But again, I didn't sleep last night. I was litrually up all night, no wonder my mp3 battery went. Anyway, I was happily lying in bed, wishing I could sleep and that it wasn't so painful when mother walked in at quarter past 7 and switched the main light on. I sat up and said "why fucking bother, it's not like I was sleeping. You saw my eyes open." She just did it to spite me which bothers me. I went and made myself a nice cup of tea and I had breakfast for once in aggges. Although, it was only toast. I rang the doctors up at 8 and booked an appointment for after college, ten past four.

So I set off from the house at 25 to 9 and met Ben. I gave him my A Clockwork Orange video I said I'd give him cause Colin bought me the DVD version. So I was happy-ish in the morning but by 10 I was knackered, light headed and freezing cold. I just wanted the day to end :( It just seemed to drag on. In Film Studies which was last lesson we were in DTP. I basically sat there, listened to Jack Off Jill and Nine Inch Nails on the computer and played games on my mobile. I couldn't defeat this friggin monster though on Doom :(

I left ten or fifteen minutes early so I could get to the doctors early, maybe then they'd reward me by letting me in sooner. I got there at 4, only had to wait 5 minutes then I went to see the doctor. I told him my problems. He had to check my blood pressure and heart for a check up. So, he did so, the first blood pressure reading was 110. He tutted and said he hoped that was wrong, he did it again and it was 92. He looked at me and said, your blood pressure is very high for someone of your age, weight and height. I was like erm ok. He said the average was 70 degrees and I was far too over and also my heartbeat was too fast. I don't get all degrees things but all I know is that it's really unhealthy to have such high blood pressure. He said he couldn't put me on blood pressure tablets because of the other tablets and pills he was giving me for my other problems. So basically all I can do is take it easy. Apparently if my blood pressure goes too high and my heartbeat too fast I could have a stroke or a heart attack. So I'm not to get stressed. Guess what the first thing mother does when she comes back? She shouts at me and then starts slamming doors. She doesn't have any consideration for my health. It's her contributing to my poor health at this point and all she can do is stress me out more. My friend said I have to get out of that house, it litrually is fucking up my health.

So, from now on, I have to take it easy, not get stressed out and spend as much time away from mother as possible.

xXx

Fed Up Now

Errr just spoke to Shaun who is still in London. Things took longer than usual. He's still at Euston station waiting to find out which platform to catch the train from. I was hoping to get out of his hell hole for at least a night. It's becoming unbearable already. She's a bitch, I hate her, I hate her, I HATE HER, I HATE HER SO FUCKING MUCH. She drives me crazy which results in me going nuts at everyone else. Hate's a strong word but you can hate someone and still care for them. But sometimes, I don't know if I can live the day through. I hate feeling like this.

Colin rang me up, told me he forgot about taking me to the doctors (thanks for that) and that he'd have a word with my mother who refused to take me to the doctors and told me to walk although I'm gradually getting worse. My joints are killing me so bad now and my throat is getting worse, getting my cough back. Of course, Christina doesn't care about my health, but with the magic words from someone she loves oh so very much she'll do anything. Christina is like "yeah we're going out again, we love each other very much" etc. etc. and Colin is like "no we're not going out. We're just friends at the moment. I'm not ready for a relationship." What the fuck is going on! Why can't you two make up your friggin minds! Anyway, she's agreed to take me to the doctors in the afternoon after she's finished work that pays nothing but she won't go find another job.

I'm more angry and annoyed than usual also because of feeling so rough. I can't sleep because my joints provide me with so much pain. Also, I was looking forward to seeing Shaun, he was expected back at about 8 this evening but now he's boarding the train at Euston at quarter past 9 and he won't be back at Manchester till 12:50 ish. Hopefully his mother will still pick me up. I can't stand to be in this house. I hate everything about it, I especially hate the person in it. Sometimes, I just feel I can't cope with being here anymore. She is hell to live with, she passes it off as all my fault but she's been told by coucellors, shrinks, social services that it's her that's the problem, it's her that needed the anger management and parenting classes. She's just making me worse. I just want to go away from this place. When I stayed at Shaun's for those 3 weeks I was happy, ill unfortunately but at least I was happy. I just want to stay away from here. I hate her, I hate myself, I hate who I am.

Such Confuzzlement In The Early Afternoon Is Not Good For You

Errr I woke up about midday and stayed in bed till about 2 just cause I could :D and I wandered downstairs for a morning in my eyes tea. I went downstairs waiting to be greeted with a sarcastic/nasty/playful comment (depending what mood "it" would be in) but I looked around and "it" was nowhere to be found. I got all confuzzled why mother had gone out and left me then I realised she now has two jobs. She works at the MSM homes now too. Yes, it has no relavance to anyone else but I don't like to be too confuzzled in my morning.

Anyway, today I thought I'd have a rant about a certain subject. Spring/Summer catalogues. Errrr........they are awful. I was flicking through the Next Spring/Summer catalogue hoping to find some black jeans cause I need more but what was I greeted with flashes of yellow, orange, lime greens. All the bright colours of the rainbow, all the happy summery colours. Now this is not good, quite scary really. Now I have a thought, well, another thought; Summer is slightly brighter than winter. Wearing yellow, orange and general happy bright colours just doesn't make any sense. Look at it this way, if everyone wore the horrible yellow, orange and lime green colours in winter, it'd cheer up the weird sods who obsessively hate winter and adore summer. Sort of neutral it out. So if people didn't wear foul lime green colours that make you want to vomit in summer where it'll all get mixed up in the awful bright colours of summer then it'd be better.
What I'm trying to say is: Wear bright colours in winter (if you must) and maybe it'll cheer up the people with S.A.D and wear darker colours in summer (all year round if you want) and it'll neutral it all out. No screw that, don't wear bright colours, they suck and you look like a moron.

Anyway, I had another lazy day yesterday. I did prank the business line then pretended to answer it, quickly typed in the code to get the phone lock off and I phoned Shaun cause I promised him I would at some point. We talked about how it was going in London and stuff. I then proceeded to go on the net. At the moment I'm going through the archive of Maddox, an awesome site, the guys a genius. http://maddox.xmission.com/ take a look, it's funny stuff. Anyway, I thought I'd clear it up, with Kate mainly about why I was hating Adam and why he deserves that so badly so I wrote a wonderous blog. Nick Byrne however was not impressed and told me to "fuck off". Well, like I told him, it's my thoughts here, if I choose to make them publically known then I will. Also yesterday a friend of mine called Scott got his friend and they analyzed my dream, well, an ickle bit of it. I just got confuzzled at most of the things then said.

Another thing I thought may or may not amuse you. I texted an obsessive tosser i.e. Richard Simcock. He is a complete ugly fucker, hasn't even got a good personality, he's just all round fucking disgusting and he stinks. He really needs to take regular showers. Anyway, someone informed me that albino boy had dyed his hair black but still had his albino facial hair. I thought this was hilarious so I thought I'd text him and tell him he looked like shit, just because I was in a really mean mood. I haven't seen him, was just told me looked like shit. Anyway, I managed to annoy the fuck out of him which I'm happy about. He's such a dumb fucker. Can't spell for shit.

Ok well today I'm just going to have a lazy day till I have to venture outside errr to meet Shaun cause he's coming back from London today yay! It only takes 2 hours to get to London from here by train, I was surprised. So anyway, he's going to get the 6 o'clock train and he'll arrive back about 8 ish. Can't wait to see him, I missed him :P

Messenger is really pissing me off. Keeps signing me out and being an annoyance. So now I'm person-less to talk to online :( Damn. Dan just texted me telling me MSN is down, everyone on his contact list went off really suddenly but he was left on, lucky git.

xXx

To Clear A Few Things Up..........

People have questioned me why I decided to be a total bitch to a certain someone called Adam Southgate. Well easy answer, he's a perve. He's obviously a dumbfuck too.

Knowing I was sat next to Shaun, the idiot (being Adam) wrote "Yeah it is funny. Wish i was der wid u i wud start fingerin u while i lickd ur nipples, i wud den go dwn nd lick u out. Im just playin snooker 2moz. Tb luv Adam xXx". Yeah I know what you're thinking, I was pretty grossed out too. So Shaun decided that a text back would be appropriate so the reply was something along the lines of "My boyfriend just saw that text and now he's just gone on his motorbike seriously pissed off looking for you". I'm sorry but it so serves Adam right for being a perve. Actually screw that, I'm not sorry, he deserved it all.

My friends and I thought some of the texts he sent were overly gross and his overuse of the word "Babe" reflected his inexperience of dealing with girls. Most girls I know don't like to be called "Babe" at any costs, except townie girls, they like it for some weird reason. I can't say much for townie girls though.

He can't be too intelligent with the fact he was rung up by Shaun who did say to him that he was going to break Adam's legs unless he stopped texting me and Adam happily texted me with "Hey sara hw r u hun? Wot r u up2? Im just watchin tv. Hu was dat guy hu rang me? He said he was goin 2 break ma legs. Bring it on i say. Tb luv Adam xXx". Well the guy did inform you he was my boyfriend, funny that, doesn't seem to understand much does Adam. And an additional gross out was the next text he sent which read "He said dat he was goin 2 break ma legs coz i said i didnt wanna know bout him bein naked but wud b interested if it was u babe. Tb luv Adam xXx". Gross gross gross gross and another gross for good measure. If you didn't want to know about him being naked then you shouldn't be a perve which wouldn't result in people phoning you up to tell you to stop being a twat!

Another text being "Of course i wud babe. Shame uve got a bf i was hopin u wud go wid me. Dat means im gonna ave 2 kick his arse so i cn ave u. Tb luv Adam xXxXx"; this text made me laugh uncontrollably because number 1) The awful use of the word "Babe" 2) I would never go with someone like Adam in a million years 3) I very much doubt that Adam could kick Shaun's arse and if he managed to I'd kick his arse and tell him to go fuck himself for touching my boyfriend. Oh and 4) Too many kisses, gross!

So after going on about kicking Shaun's ass I texted back saying how he wouldn't be able to kick Shaun's ass and his reply was "Hw tall is he?Im ova 6ft, u knw hw strong i am i pickd u nd nick up. Ive had a fight wid a guy 6years older dan me nd won. Tb luv Adam xXx". My response, in my head on course was that if only he applied some of his strength to his mind and managed to construct a sentence that made any sense, that had correct grammar, spaces after each word and was correctly spelt. Anyway, I told him Shaun was "taller, older and stronger than you." After the text above I said that Shaun was 6ft 4 (I over exgarated then), twenty three, very strong (which he is) and a plumber (which had no relevance).

Adam admitted his defeat "Yeah i doubt i cn kick his arse frm wot uve told me babe. If u break up tell me coz i wnt u babe. Wish u were here nw. Wot u wearin?Lol.Wot u doin 2moz? Tb luv Adam". Yes no kisses, my plan may be working! But ewww, two babes, gross. And what the fuck is with "I wnt u babe" taking lines from cheesy songs, god be original, come up with your own ideas. "Wot u wearin? ; hmm DUMBASS you've just been told I've got a boyfriend, you couldn't kick his arse and you ask what I'm wearing, you're sick!

OK, I do have to admit, I did lead him on in some texts. He deserved it, gradually as time went on he got worse, more perverted. So I did inform him "I've been going with him since new years eve. I thought I liked you but then he came along and I liked him loads more. You should meet him. Kick his arse". OK, that was hardly leading him on either, what nice girl who's interested in someone says "I thought I liked you but then he came along and I liked him loads more." God he really fell for that one.

Adam's excuse was that he was pissed and that's what pissed people do. Well, no, they don't. I very much doubt he was pissed morning, noon and night. Shit excuse for being a perve. All Adam wants to do is get laid, lose his virginity. Lighten up babe, you shouldn't want to lose it so desperately. Anyway. your shit excuses weren't very believable either, they were piss poor in fact.


Conclusion
Adam is a desperate perve, Tom says he's like that with every girl and Nick agreed basically and said "tht i can believe". I feel sorry for every girl who encounters this monster.

Be careful...........you could be next

The Killers Are Whores

The Killers suck so much donkey cock, what the fuck is with lyrics like;
Well somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looks like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It's not confidential
I've got potential

They should change their dumbass lyrics that have no meaning to something like this;
Well somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looks like a girlfriend
That slept with the boyfriend
And the ex girlfriend
And they all died
SLUTS

See, my lyrical genius sounds so much better than the original. Man I hate the Killers and their dumbass songs with their stupid meaningless lyrics. Grrrrr...............
I decided one chorus wasn't enough, let's look at two other worthless crap lyrics from the shittiest band to come out of 2004 along with the Zutons which I also think are dumb, "You don't ever think, ever think, ever think too much". What the fuck. I'll think as much as I want you no brainers!

Here, these are random lyrics from another dumbass song with a stupid title "Mr. Brightside";
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress

Told you they were stupid fucking manwhore perves.

I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

Come on you professional writer we're paying shit loads to help us make our crap song sound a bit more arty. But some nice arty things in like "saints", "lullabies" and make it rhyme dumbass, we need to catch the kids attention here, they like sing-a-long cheesy songs we'll try and pass as really good music. Mr Brightside.........come on.............what the fuck! It's all stupid corporate bullshit.

We took a walk that night, but it wasn't the same
We had a fight on the promenade out in the rain
She said she loved me, but she had somewhere to go
She couldn't scream while I held her close
I swore I'd never let her go
Tell me what you wanna know

See, it's all perverted, just look at the lyrics, it's all perverted. It's all about love, why the fuck are all cheesy songs about love. No one wants to hear about soppy love put into such a crap way by the fucking Killers. Just sounds like they looked at a cheesy love movie and got a writer to put it into a way that the guy could sing along too in yet again another cheesy way.

I know my rights,
I've been here all day and it's time
For me to go, so let me know if it's alright
I just can't take this,
I swear I told you the truth
She couldn't scream while I held her close
I swore I'd never let her go

You know why the chrous' are always better than the song in cheesy sing-alongs well it's because this is where they pay the writer shit loads to make them sound good so when they advertise their shit all over the TV and radio it sounds half decent, except in the Killer's case, it sounds shit whenever. I hated it from the first moment I heard it. Corporate bullshit. Despite what all the critics say the Killers suck with their corporate shit. Critics are probably paid vast amounts of money to praise every sucky single they heard. The record companies can afford this cause when it's done little vunrable people think "well, the critics say it's good, it must be" so they go out and buy it and realise how shit it is and how stupid they now feel. Fuckers.

Can you tell I don't like the Killers?

Hello To My Ickle Windmill!

I've sort of neglected my Ickle Windmill Jason recently so I dedicated my title to him. Even though he totally disagrees with my Killers post as will many but oh well, I don't like them. He says I say I don't like them because I relate with the lyrics, I said I relate to the sex and my boyfriends usually end up becoming obsessive and it's never all fairytale like, like in the Killers. Ewww........I hate the Killers. But I don't hate Jason, I love my Ickle Windmill, he's great.

Anyway, today I stayed in bed until my Ciocia walked in my room this morning, I hate people coming in and snooting round so I sat up and went "Ciocia!" like I was totally pleased to see her......I wasn't, I was tired and wanted to sleep. Anyway she told me about this 70s party she was going to. Ewww. She's wearing an afro wig. Positively scary!

Anyway, I watched Amelie in my room cause that film rules so much, as does American Beauty, Baseketball, A Clockwork Orange and Sid & Nancy. I love those movies. I then decided to stay in my room till about half four, go downstairs, make a cup of tea, drink it (funnily enough) and have a shower. Now I'm all clean, er......yay? Cause you all care about that I'm sure. Anyway, passed all the boring shit, which was basically my whole day I went on the net at 5, James rang soon after (James being my ex biker boyfriend; the one who didn't turn obsessive and weird) and we talked for about an hour and a half. I went for my dinner, when Shaun rang, I sounded all pissed off and told him to ring back at half eight. Ate dinner, went upstairs, James rang back, he was struggling to handle Chloe cause she was being a tired ickle baby and they're slightly annoying when they're tired. Anyway, we talked for another 45 minutes or so, had a good chat. As soon as I put the phone down Shaun rang. Talked to him, how he was doing then he went and I went on the net again cause my evening was so ultra boring. I decided to get all upset over a matter I won't mention here so I had Lyd helping me out, Thom and Shaun texting me telling me that I wasn't a walkover and a dumbass and that I was his beautiful girl and he loved me. Even this got an awww from Lyd, which is rare, well, in my experience. Anyway, I felt so awful I made a bowl of custard. Jason commenting how great custard is and how nice it looked, daft sod.

So now I've just had the greatest bitch about the Killers ever and I'm talking to Thom who was giving me some more games for my mobile and my Ickle Windmill Jason who is getting impatient to his small and pathetic surprise, which is a lot of this blog has him in it.

xXx

Nightmare Before Thursday

Look at my really bad bad play with words. God, I'm glad I have the excuse I'm tired and ill hehe. OK well I had this dream and the beginning bit scared me but then I was just weirded out by the rest. Mother said you're brain is like a computer and it's just processing all the information. She says "to dream is healthy", ooo wise words.......not.

This is how it goes if you can be bothered reading this cause it'll only make any sense to me;
Ciocia was cheated on by my Uncle Eddy and he had left her and run off. My mother and I went over to Ciocia's and picked up Kasia and Ciocia and we all went to Babcia's house. When we were at Babcia's house we were having tea in the kitchen when the back gate just swung open. Everybody stood up, in them were two people I didn't know and put their cups and saucers down and walked outside. I stood in the little walkway between the wall and the house and looked up to Babcia's house. Dziadzia was standing there dressed in a pale blue shirt, a dark blue tank top and black trousers. Dziadzia then waved at me and I waved at Dziadzia until I heard Babcia's shouting something in Polish and I turned away to look and see everyone scurrying back and when I looked up he had gone. When everyone got back in the house it was really weird. You could see a glipse of someone's dark arm and torso cross the mirror although no one was in front of it, cups started going, footsteps upstairs, it was all very frightening. Finally everyone tried running down the hall to the front door because it was getting out of control with flickering lights and as they ran all the electrical appliances were going and you could see a dark apparition run into the front room and one at the top of the stairs.

Anyway, we all finally got outside and ran down the steps and for some reason we went to where to Sacred Heart Church site and where it once stood was just a random, sandy coloured building and there was an enormous porch. Like a long cover coming out to the pavement with two pillars holding up this stone cover sheet. Anyway, we went under that and this random person decided they wanted to race, automated go-kart style and this guy went inside with someone else and produced two automated go-karts. Someone called Tom said that he wanted to race but he wouldn't without wearing a suit. So, I went inside this building with Tom and we found the suits near the front of the building and we chose a black one which came with a white tie. We then went looking for a black shirt, walking past hair things like straightner's and curlers and hairdryers and cosmetics we found 4 shelves on top of each other on the left with shirts on. They were all folded up but the weird thing was some were cake and a random person who was with Tom and I held up this folded up shirt which was actually white chocolate cake with sugar sprinkles. As we looked loads of different items were replaced with different cakes in the shape of the item. We found a black shirt and then my Aunty Maggy who at this point in time has fallen out with my mother came running down the building which for some reason was slightly slanted. She said something weird was happening with her car and so we ran up the building to the top where her car stood on a stretch of road which ran lengthways across the top of the building. The building was that when you walked in it was all shops and things with the aisles not facing you but the ends of the aisles were. Anyway, we looked at the car and the alloys on the wheels had a weird face which swiftly moved across the alloy on the front left hand side. The face was nearly bald, it had a bit of black hair, it's head was slightly tilted down and it's eyes looking up and and a evil long stretched smile reached across it's face. We all ran back down the building to the bottom. Tom tried on his outfit and he looked a bit like a gangster. So then we all just walked out to watch the race. Both Tom and the other random guy got into their automated go-karts and had just set off to race when a guy who I can't remember the face of drove up to the building on a motorbike. He asked if I wanted it and I said "yeah sure". So I sat at the front of the bike and Shaun for some reason came on the back.

We ended up going to the nearest train station and getting the train to Southport, the motorbike being kept on the train with us. When we got to Southport we rode on the motorbike to Formby. Firstly I rode down the street where Katie, Laura & Karen lived and then I turned right. I was passed by a car with Dawn in who's house it was I was going to. I then turned right at the end of the street into Dawn's close. I then stopped and saw Carol, Dawn's mother and Peter Carol's husband. Carol said "Hey Sara. Sorry but Dawn's just gone, she'll be back in a few minutes though". I said ok then a mini Dawn in a swimming costume when she was about 7 came up to me after just putting soil into a bucket cause her mother was gardening and pulled on my arm. I bent down and she said "Kevin thinks you're demented". She giggled and ran back to the garden. I started up the motorbike and drove left then left up the street I had just been up, turned left and left again into Turnacre. I then went to the end where we all used to live and I sat there naming where we all used to live in the street. Then we went back on Deansgate Lane North and went back to Southport where we just boughts loads of CDs from music stores.

For people that aren't to sure, explanations:

Ciocia - Polish for Aunty

Kasia - My cousin

Babcia - Polish for Grandmother

Dziadzia - Polish for Grandfather, now deceased

Polish - All my mother's side are Polish

Tom - Don't have a clue, I know Tom's but I'm not overly familiar with one

Aunty Maggy - Married to Uncle Tony, aren't actually blood relatives. Used to be best friends with my mother before she blew them off after she got what she wanted. Known them since when I was born, still in contact with them.

Shaun - My now boyfriend

Formby - Where I used to live twice

Southport - The nearest big town, where we used to do the main shopping

Katie, Laura & Karen - My ex step dad's former fioncee was called Karen, he split up with her. Her kids were called Katie & Laura. Used to be over the wall neighbours, lived a street away.

Dawn - Used to be very good friends with her when I lived in Formby, known her since she was 6

Carol - Her mother

Peter - Dawn's step dad

Kevin - Awesome friend when living in Formby, also referred to in "Kevin & Steven"

Turnacre - The street I lived in when I lived in Formby

Deansgate Lane North - Just a street that has other streets leading off

xXx

Get Better Soon Lyd!

Yeah there's my tribute title, go me and my tribute title. Poor Lyd, all ill, really ill. Hope she gets better soon as does everyone else :)

Well I went to Shaun's yesterday. He called a taxi for me and he asked if we were going to be up to something and I said no, we're both skint at the moment and he said we'd have to make our own fun. I was all embarrassed and like yeah turning red. Anyway, Shaun and I just watched really weird programs that were on and had a very good time well, not with the programs obviously :D he's such a sweetie. Anyway, in the morning he was stressing cause he does have a lot on his mind so I sorta waited around while he packed. We then got a taxi into the centre of Rawtenstall, I am still all ill at this point. I buy some batteries and a lipsil whatever thingy for him and he buys lunch. Then he calls a taxi for me and then we just stand in the Manchester stop until my taxi comes. Then I jump in the taxi with the guy I had the night before. He asked about last night which I wish he didn't then we talked from where abouts in Liverpool we came from. He was trying to tell me that I didn't live in Liverpool and I said obviously I did cause my address said so. So, then he agreed it was in Liverpool but the outskirts. I said bye to him and went into my house. Man I felt worse for even venturing outside for such little time. I went straight to bed and tried to sleep. Shaun texted me from the train which he so nicely told me how bored he was "might just rip my arm off and see how far down the train I can throw it just for something to do". I then texted him which a lovely song I sang to annoy him once and he sent a lovely text back "Yey! Thank you for the song. You really are not right in the head, that's why I like you x x x x". He then texted me from the tube then when he got to Miluska's. I hope I spelt it right. Anyway, it's his ex g/f's he was staying at with her and her boyfriend. He then said he was going to the pub and that was that really. Then today I woke up feeling worse than before and then got a text from Shaun saying that he got the dates mixed up, he's going to the hospital tomorrow not today so today he went down Camden Market and he's got his right nipple pierced this time so now he has both pierced. He said he'll take me down one day. Anyway, I spoke to Jono yesterday and he said Ben has gone around telling people I went and immediately fucked a guy a picked up in a graveyard. Now I'm starting to get a tad fed up of Ben and his shit spreading, now I know why he may be doing this, I may be wrong but it'll come out if he doesn't quit this.

Saturday I'm being dragged to the cemetary by mother. Only because it's my DEAD grandad's birthday. I tried to highlight the word dead to my mother. My belief's are that there's no point in celebrating a birthday of a dead person. She'll go there father's day, that's understandable. She gave up going on October 1, the anniversary of his death because she said it was morbid. She goes at Christmas, that's ok-ish but birthday. It's not like he'll be there listening in and partying on his birthday, he's dead for Christ's sake's. That really winds me up. I have to waste a Saturday doing something I'll probably hate. Being outside for like 5 minutes already heightens the symptons of me being ill and it pisses me off. I just want it to go now, it's been ages. Well Sunday I'm going to apparently the first of the "the best in the North West" restaurants. My Aunty Maggy and Uncle Tony are taking me to various different restuarants they think are the best of their themes. Firstly we're going to an Indian, they said there's a great Mexican and a nice Thai. Can't wait. But Shaun's not coming back till Saturday or Sunday. If he comes back on Saturday I might be able to sleep that night but if he comes back on Sunday I may not see him till Tuesday :( He's the only boyfriend I seem to give a shit about. Strange, but good.

Anyway today I just tried to sleep after having a nightmare which didn't seem that bad when I remembered it in the morning, anyway, it meant I didn't get to sleep till 7 also cause I was in pain with my throat, it's got worse. At 5-ish I decided to play my Simon the Sorcerer 3D game which I bought and hadn't even touched. I'm halfway through already. So easy.

xXx

"You're lost and jaded,
You're lost and faded.
You've become the sheep you hated.
You're rotten to the core,
Don't believe in you anymore."

Grrrr

You try to fucking apologise to someone for being insanely bitchy and totally out of character and they twist it up and spit it out. Well fuck that - no one is as low as you (lets take a leaf out of your book and call you "un named person"). Anyway who has said so much shit then fucked off an apology should look at themselves and realise yeah, maybe they should quit being a loser so fucking much.

I firstly apologised by text and then she came online and was like "Why did you appologise?" like it was a big bad thing to do, be civil you know. So I explained it was totally not nice of me to be so unbelievably bitchy and it was cause I was going through a tough time and my heads all screwed, specially after my mother. Despite me saying I don't care, well I don't not after what she's done but I care to an extent, like I do about anyone, even Martin even though he really doesn't deserve it cause he's a fucker. Even I don't want him to be insanely beat up or something. Anway so I explained about my mother and how it made me all angry and pissed off and more screwed up then I already am and she had the fucking cheek to say "so you appologised to me because you felt bad about your mother" NO DID I SAY THAT!!! That's totally low, I was being nice and apologising cause I realised I was out of order and she twists it up and spits it out and says THAT. Grrr.....that's low coming from anyone, spitting out an apology like that. Just how low can this girl go? I'm sure we'll see, and she's calls me bitchy, that's a laugh, she should look at herself. Not great now is she, huh?
So I decided to reply with a very good reply "fuck off if you're just going to twist it up and spit it out. It was an apology, get over it". It's short and sweet and tells her that what she did was wrong and people can actually just apologise. But Miss Analitical (yeah like do I give a frig if it's spelt wrong) decided to choose to pick this up, make up some conspiracy theory up or something and give it out as totally wrongly analyzed evidence. She then came out with some bullshit that made me laugh; "i'm not, you have never appogised to me before and it caught me off guard" yes I'm sure. Never. Der, she really hadn't been a good friend if she never actually ever bothered listening to when I did. Talk about selective memory. Anyway, so I said "I have apologised to you before, you just haven't listened before" which is true, if she had then she would of heard it insted of lying and pretending that "sorry" has never parted out of my lips before; then, believe it or not more bullshit came out. "thats rich coming from you!" Yes I'm so sure of that un named person, I haven't sat there for hours listening to numerous problems of yours, ever. Just because you'd like the whole world to believe you're so unique and special that no one could ever understand the complex problems you have in your good life doesn't mean no one listened. Errr........get over yourself.

Right I'm just going to go to Shaun's cause he's off to London for a few days before I bubble over with anger. God.......people piss me off.

xXx

Well the past few days have been weird. Managed to wind Joe and Kate up to fuck, highly amusing yet felt a tad cruel afterwards. But it was amusing. Anyway, yesterday I came back from Shaun's still full of flu and dying in the morning and saw my mother looking happy and I thought to myself this is totally unlike her seen as she's just been in hospital for aggges. Anyway, she gave me a hug and told me she missed me. It was at this point I realised how drugged up she is. She then told me she had planned to kill herself, it was bad enough hearing she was in hospital, that fucked my head up. I was there crying my eyes out when I was at Shaun's when I heard she was ill enough to be hospital worthy, which got me angry which made me lash out at Kate and Joe which I shouldn't have but totally helped me in the short run. Anyway, I heard she was going to kill herself and then I was like woah, I didn't realise I was such a shit child. Anyway, my mother just acts like she's stoned constantly and it's pretty scary. She told me to stay off college until next week when she can be certain my flu's definately gone. Ben has told people he's seen me downtown though but he can't of cause I've been in bed all ill for a week and a half and the half a week before that I had a black eye and refused to leave the house. Now people think I'm not ill and I'm faking it, pfft, if you could seen the comotion that happened at like 3 in the morning a few days ago. I couldn't breathe cause my windpipe was blocked and the NHS was called and they wanted me to go to Burnley General and I was like yeah like I can get there, well it wasn't me who rang, it was Shaun and so they came to me. I wasn't given some funky little pills and examined, it helped really quickly and I could breathe again. Anyway, people like erm KATE who said I wasn't ill and could easily go into college can get lost, even the doctor told me not to go in till it's completely gone so no it wasn't ok to just waltz in to college and no I can't help it if I became ill at all cause like it's all my fault.

Anyway now my mother has gone to take Colin to hospital because he has a disease which means his mind is deteriorating and which means he's getting slower everytime. She's sleeping there tonight so I'm going to Shaun's cause he's going to hospital in London on Wednesday and so I'll make sure he's ok. Is it any wonder it all gets on top of me, my mother has MS which means she can get really bad and I know it's not her fault but it's really stressful and she gets to the point of suicide, my ex step dad has a disease which means he really isn't who he used to be and you have to be patient, a grandmother who has dementia which is really difficult on everyone emotionally, I try and stay strong for my mother and aunty cause it's their mother. Why does everyone have to be ill, it's not good at all. Course I'm going to get stressed over it, it's like everyone around me is dying off.

That's it really. My life isn't wonderful at the moment, it isn't really bad like it has been though. Hopefully I'll be well again soon so I can go back to college and get on with doing something insted of being stuck doing nothing. Then it should be ok again. Hopefully my mother won't get so bad as to try suicide and that everyone won't take everything the wrong way as they always tend on doing. They'll pick something out and start ranting and raving about it and being a tosser, well don't bother. If you have any heart you'll see what has been written and leave it. I don't seen your mother about to kill herself with your perfect family all in a mess. Your life isn't as bad as you make out it is. Mine definately isn't as bad, mine's sorting itself out from what it was, soon it'll be ok again. But as well as me, my mother needs to get her head sorted out and when we've moved we need to sort our lives out again. I'm not looking forward to moving, I hate moving in fact, it's just annoying and it screws everything up. If it screws it all up again I don't know how I'll end up coping. Why can't I just stay in one place. Anyway, I know a few people that will be happy I won't be living near them, they'll see it as a way to get away from me, yeah well you got what you want.

xXx