Fed Up Now
Errr just spoke to Shaun who is still in London. Things took longer than usual. He's still at Euston station waiting to find out which platform to catch the train from. I was hoping to get out of his hell hole for at least a night. It's becoming unbearable already. She's a bitch, I hate her, I hate her, I HATE HER, I HATE HER SO FUCKING MUCH. She drives me crazy which results in me going nuts at everyone else. Hate's a strong word but you can hate someone and still care for them. But sometimes, I don't know if I can live the day through. I hate feeling like this.
Colin rang me up, told me he forgot about taking me to the doctors (thanks for that) and that he'd have a word with my mother who refused to take me to the doctors and told me to walk although I'm gradually getting worse. My joints are killing me so bad now and my throat is getting worse, getting my cough back. Of course, Christina doesn't care about my health, but with the magic words from someone she loves oh so very much she'll do anything. Christina is like "yeah we're going out again, we love each other very much" etc. etc. and Colin is like "no we're not going out. We're just friends at the moment. I'm not ready for a relationship." What the fuck is going on! Why can't you two make up your friggin minds! Anyway, she's agreed to take me to the doctors in the afternoon after she's finished work that pays nothing but she won't go find another job.
I'm more angry and annoyed than usual also because of feeling so rough. I can't sleep because my joints provide me with so much pain. Also, I was looking forward to seeing Shaun, he was expected back at about 8 this evening but now he's boarding the train at Euston at quarter past 9 and he won't be back at Manchester till 12:50 ish. Hopefully his mother will still pick me up. I can't stand to be in this house. I hate everything about it, I especially hate the person in it. Sometimes, I just feel I can't cope with being here anymore. She is hell to live with, she passes it off as all my fault but she's been told by coucellors, shrinks, social services that it's her that's the problem, it's her that needed the anger management and parenting classes. She's just making me worse. I just want to go away from this place. When I stayed at Shaun's for those 3 weeks I was happy, ill unfortunately but at least I was happy. I just want to stay away from here. I hate her, I hate myself, I hate who I am.
Colin rang me up, told me he forgot about taking me to the doctors (thanks for that) and that he'd have a word with my mother who refused to take me to the doctors and told me to walk although I'm gradually getting worse. My joints are killing me so bad now and my throat is getting worse, getting my cough back. Of course, Christina doesn't care about my health, but with the magic words from someone she loves oh so very much she'll do anything. Christina is like "yeah we're going out again, we love each other very much" etc. etc. and Colin is like "no we're not going out. We're just friends at the moment. I'm not ready for a relationship." What the fuck is going on! Why can't you two make up your friggin minds! Anyway, she's agreed to take me to the doctors in the afternoon after she's finished work that pays nothing but she won't go find another job.
I'm more angry and annoyed than usual also because of feeling so rough. I can't sleep because my joints provide me with so much pain. Also, I was looking forward to seeing Shaun, he was expected back at about 8 this evening but now he's boarding the train at Euston at quarter past 9 and he won't be back at Manchester till 12:50 ish. Hopefully his mother will still pick me up. I can't stand to be in this house. I hate everything about it, I especially hate the person in it. Sometimes, I just feel I can't cope with being here anymore. She is hell to live with, she passes it off as all my fault but she's been told by coucellors, shrinks, social services that it's her that's the problem, it's her that needed the anger management and parenting classes. She's just making me worse. I just want to go away from this place. When I stayed at Shaun's for those 3 weeks I was happy, ill unfortunately but at least I was happy. I just want to stay away from here. I hate her, I hate myself, I hate who I am.
posted by Sara at 8:54 pm
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